So, I’ve been commanded to write a
happy blog post. It’s been a while, I know, but that doesn’t mean I can’t write
something a bit more joyful. It must be this Christmas spirit. The twinkle
lights, the cheery faces, and the family. Such a tangible feeling of happiness.
Anyway, that’s enough gushiness for
now.
I think I may actually be moving this
blog into the waters it was intended for: adventure. Not that the past two
years haven’t been eventful. I’ve looked back a couple times; my how things
have changed. For better or for worse, I’m still not quite sure. The best part
about the future is that it is unknown. I have spent the better part of my life
looking to the future (not that I’ve stopped…). What are my grades going to be?
What college am I going to? Which classes am I taking next semester? Always
trying to craft the best possible future, even though there really isn’t
anything that will determine the future except the present.
After all of this time looking into
the vast emptiness, I’ve realized that it is better to worry about today. One
thing that has stuck with me over the past year: Make plans, don’t plan
results. I’ve spent my life envisioning the results, trying to figure out what
tomorrow brings. It has been a necessity. Today, and maybe a few more todays,
I’m going to worry about the present. No, not worry. I’m going to embrace the
present!
So, for the great news that most of
you probably know: I’m leaving for France on January 11 for a five-month study
abroad in Grenoble. Yep. That sums up my life for the next semester. So.
Freaking. Excited. Oh, and nervous. Did I mention that I’m
nervous/anxious/apprehensive? It’s a rollercoaster of emotion, but at the end
of the day I remind myself that I’m going to be doing something amazing.
Five months. Wow. I’m not sure I even
comprehend how much time that really is going to be. I have friends that are
off on missions for 18 months at a time, and I’m worried about a measly five
months. But grief! I haven’t been out of Utah longer than 10 days at a time.
I’ve lived a life safe from the world, and now I’m throwing myself into the
thick of it. Quitting the safety blanket: cold turkey.
So. The plans are set. Plane tickets
bought. Visa slapped into the ol’ passport. New luggage, new clothes, new power
adapters. Hundreds of questions, both answered and unanswered. I’m officially
walking into unknown territory in t-minus 11 days.
Wow. Yeah, if you can’t tell, I’m a
bit out of my league. But, hey! I’m staying in there, I’ll keep swinging. I’ll
make sure to keep everyone updated while I’m out there, off in new-to-me parts
of the world. Now I can only hope that I can fit my life into a suitcase and a
backpack. Minimalism to the extreme.
This is the last blog post of the
year. I have less than twenty minutes of 2012 left, and my heart is pounding.
What will this New Year bring? Another year has been added to my history, and a
new year waits. I’m not sure if I will make a resolution. Maybe I will resolve
to scare myself more. Leave the security blanket behind and live life. Maybe
once I start freeing myself from the self-created restraints, I might actually be
confident enough to live the life I want to live.
Wish me luck! Here’s to a new year,
new experiences, a new stretch in this crazy adventure called life.
